10 Things

Kedongdong Termite2 tagged me and even texted to tell me that. =.="

Well, i thought it would be some kacang putih questions but it turned out to be quite a brain teaser.

10 things that I can do:

*wtf. i can do more than 10 things. hundreds and thousands maybe*

*rolls eyes*

*eh, i can do a lot of things, man... what should i write?"

1) Well, first thing first, I can cook. My signature dish (che wahhh...) would be my assam pedas prawn. Next one would be my favourite garlic butter parsley dory. Most recent, I've tried on ikan kerapu (which I called ikan merapu) and of cos it turned out yummy. To date, I've cooked curry chicken, sweet and sour fish/chicken,/prawn, ginger onion beef, ginger fungus chicken, minced meat+cabbage+tofu, dumplings, and wei, I can't exactly remember. Just tell me what you want to eat and I'll try my best to cook some edible food. Heee... :D
2) Bake! I can bake good cheesecake, chocolate torte and muffins! And box mixture too. hahaha.. My last experiment was a healthy lemon yoghurt cake.
3) Handmade stuffs as in art+craft. Cards, paperbags, cross-stitch, frames, etc.
4) Roll my tongue
5) I can do/say things that hurt my loved ones when I'm too angry (yes, admit it is my most horrible habit!)
6) Spend hours cleaning the house from balcony to living room to bedroom and lastly toilet
7) Finish entire big box of hawaiian host chocolate in like 10 or maybe 15 minutes
8) Live on chocolates but most of the time feeling guilty and unhealthy, thus forcing myself to take lots of brocolli the next day (bleh, termite2, bleh!)
9) Still be nice to strangers who unintentionally caused me trouble
10) Loathe someone till I can't look at that person.

10 things I still can't do:

1) Speak to my ex-es
2) Be an attention-seeker
3) Afford a car by myself
4) Keep a dog (There goes my dream. Berkecai)
5) Things that are against my heart
6) Betray a friend
7) Keep a dog/cat. Make perfect chocolate mousse (can anyone tell me the secret? would love the secret recipe to macarons too :D)
8) Forgive and forget (can only do either one)
9) Buy my dad a massage chair
10) Turn back time

5 things I will never get:

1) Dog as a pet
2) A sister (ok, a sister is not a "thing" but I always wanted a sister. the one running the same blood as me)
3) Forever friends bear cos it costs freaking RM800
4) The super bombastic condo in Subang
5) Job that I like with the amount of salary I want and a 6-month bonus

5 things I wished never happened:

1) This him, that him, the other him. Which him?
2) I wish time is never one-way for me
3) Deaths+War+Men falling in love with more than one woman at the same time
4) Me studying I.T
5) I wish there was never so many races. Just ONE is enough

Nobody to tag cos nobody reads my blog. Heeeee... If you're bored enough or wanna dig some skeletons out of your closet just like me, please feel free to tag yourself.

Sekian, terima kasih.

Rude

The word I'm going use today is RUDE.

Certain people do not see or pretend not to see the line.
Hence, they just simply cross it whenever they feel like and think that it is alright.
I tell you IT'S NOT!

IT IS NOT OKAY TO DO THINGS THAT YOU THOUGHT WOULD DO NO HARM TO OTHERS BUT AT THE SAME TIME PUSHING YOURSELF ACROSS THE BORDER!

I'm just merely a friend and you have no rights to do what you have done.
Obviously, you were rude and have no manners.
SHAME ON YOU!

Akibat Lack of O2

Put my dirty and smelly clothes into the washing machine at 0030 hrs.
Went to check at 0130 hrs.
Red light blinking on "Soak".
- wtf -

Opened the lid and saw traces of powder detergent.
"Yeah, right. Fuzzy logic. Oh, well."
Off and on the power again and pressed "Start".
Lazy people depend on auto-mode.

Went to check again at 0330 hrs.
Should be done this time.
AGAIN, red light blinking on "Soak".
- wtf -

"Cuckoo already? I can't afford new one larrr..."

Soak? Why is it soak? What's wrong with soaking the clothes?
Ohhhh... SOAK!

I forgot to turn on the tap.
Chiuuuuu..........

CST, CST... Mengapa engkau bodoh sangat? Apahal yang lembab sangat nih? Tsk, tsk, tsk...
-Oh, tak ada apa-apa. Cuma kekurangan oksigen kat si kepala otak udang tu saja.

I'm so sleepy right now :(

Hidup di Peringkat Kedongdong Dengan Warna Faeces Yang Sihat

I have the entire weekend all by myself. A peaceful one. Peaceful as in I am alone and enjoying every second of it.

I spent hours cleaning my whole wardrobe yesterday night which dragged until almost 4am and I could spare some time for household chores later. Sometimes, I'm curious why some people can't seem to spend time alone by just listening to some fine music and doing nothing. Yeah, I can get through a day without doing anything and just laze around. By doing so, I find the peace and calm in me which eventually leads me to reminisce about my life and the past. I don't understand. Why would people call that weird? Well, I'll call you weird if you can't even spend a decent 5 minutes sitting down, not talking and doing nothing. There are people like that around who can't sit still but keep looking for things to do to occupy their mind. Why? What's wrong? Why can't you just let your good old mind rest for a second? If there are things bothering you, then it'll be a different story. But wanting something to do just because you're bored yet you don't want to do things that are not entertaining but at the same time beneficial to you, so apa lu mau?

Confusing, heh? Well, consider this situation. A person who has a normal 9-5 job who reaches home, let's say 7pm. Does not know what to do for the entire night and ends up yakking on the phone, complaining how sucks life is and blablabla... you get the idea. After the long telephone conversation, turns into a couch potato pulak until doze off while the show is still going on. Padahal, things surrounded are not done. For me, I can do different things every day. Perhaps, 1st night, I'll mop the floor, 2nd night, I'll wash the bathroom, 3rd night, I'll chillax and watch Grey's Anatomy, 4th night, I'll do the laundry and the 5th night, I'll clean up my room a bit. And voila, weekends I spend my time with my loved ones and I'll come back to a clean house and environment. Oh, ampun, so susah? If that's SO freaking hard, don't call yourself an adult, don't keep on saying you are matured and insist you are independent. Cos it's taik lembu! Can learn to be a LITTLE bit responsible to yourself or not?

I bet there are a lot of girls out there who never in their entire life touch a broom or a mop before, let alone using them. Ok, you got a maid, then fine. To those who don't have, maggots, spiders, cockroaches and rats are soon to be your bestmates!

Oh, I don't understand, I just don't! People who complain 24/7 still exist! I mean like freaking 24/7 until they find the next love potion and they'll shut up. Complain about how pathetic their life is, how better is some place compared to home, how slutty is the bitch in the office and how bloody the career can be. Oh, God! Why can't you be grateful? Why can't you? You think I'm happy? You think I'm luckier than you? You think I'm a problem-free person? You think I own a gold mountain? Oh, come on. I am happy because I don't ask for more. I have problems but I don't show it all. And no, I don't own a gold mountain, not even a peti emas. Please look closely, you are luckier than me but you're sad because you ask for more. You allow greed to take over control. My career will be nothing compared to yours but I am and will be happy because I stand firm on the ground. Like the Chinese always say, "You see me good, I see you good" but in fact, there are flaws and loopholes in everyone. Two words: Be grateful. And, and, and..... Wake up before it's too late yaaaa! Doink.

Sigh~ I got carried away. Damn old songs that remind me of good old times and see the current $#!++y situation I am in. Ptui!

p/s: See the $#!tty colour is a healthy brown. It shows that I'm fine but need to write nonsense once in a while to flush out the excessive. Now SHOO!!!

Nil

I realize that I haven't been writing like I used to.
No longer upbeat. Just died-ed like that.

Ketandusan idea,
Api membara yang sudah malap,
Hilang keghairahan.

Whatever you wanna call it.

Because the only thing a happy person can type is "fa lalalalalalala~". Heee...

Oh, no. Don't get me wrong. I still have personal problems and pressure to face especially my thesis. It's just that the happiness level is currently higher than the stress level.

Must be this Florida's Natural Au'some Fruit Juice Nuggets that I've been chewing for 3 nights. Sweet and addictive. Both the texture and the taste. Yummy-Mamma-Mia than gummy bears. It is my last pack though. Ummm... you know what to do, right? Stock it for me, please? Heee...

Pain in the a$$

My tummy sent a signal to my brain telling me to make poo-poo at this totally insane hour. So I headed for the toilet and stepped on the slippery tiles. The next thing I knew, I was already sitting on the wet floor. Yup, I landed on my butt and twisted my wrist. Pain-pain. :( Ampun, sakit sial!

And oh, it's Hungry G Month. No wonder.

Death

I am supposed to write about my Phuket trip but I change my mind after having a conversation with an ex-colleague, K, also a friend of mine.

I've heard the news quite some time ago through another ex-colleague whom I borrowed the VB.Net book from her. Speaking of the book, gosh, it's still sitting somewhere on the bookshelf. Heh! We did a super quick catch up that night and she told me things were not going well for K. K's parents were involved in an accident and were injured badly. I was in shocked and asked how did that happen and was only told K's mum was not in an appropriate form to drive. At least, I was also told they survived and it was a relief to hear that.

Today, I got an update from K that K's dad actually passed away few months back while K's mum is not exactly in a healthy state. My heart dropped when I heard that. I really didn't know what to say. And I didn't think I was in any position to console because I didn't think I was qualified to do so. I've never lost someone closed enough to me and I hope not any time soon. Nevertheless, I could feel K's pain. I really could. And I know words like, "Stay strong and you'll be fine." will not help. Instead, I told K I was really sorry to hear that. Being someone who was close enough to K during my short period with K as colleagues, I dare to say I know K quite well. A happy-go-lucky person who seldom loses his/her temper. Not even showing his/her moodiness but always come to the office with a smile as bright as the sunshine and making jokes whenever possible. And me on the other hand always pulling my long face because I got annoyed at times with K's silly attitude. But all in all, K is a good person who will keep smiling eventhough sad or unhappy incidents occured to K.

I could still remember the day when K told me the plan of getting the Ogawa massage chair for the dad together with the siblings chipping in. That was Father's Day of 2 years ago. I also remember feeling envious because I wanted to give that to my dad too but my kacang putih salary was just enough to get me through my daily life. Eventhough the period was short for me to be with K, I knew quite a little bit about K's family as K loves to yak about anything and everything. Now, the massage chair no longer serves any purpose not even to K's mum as she is now suffering a spine fracture. Btw, it wasn't the accident but it's cancer who took K's dad away. Well, I don't feel like elaborating anymore. The thought of the K buying the massage chair put tears into my eyes. The most heartbreaking sentence I heard from K was, "I was there to see him from he could talk, walk and eat until the day he could not talk, walk and eat."

If one day you are caught in a situation like this, would you choose to end your life in order to end the suffering or fight for it and ask the cancer to go to hell like Azean Irdawaty?

For me, I...
I...
I......
I really don't know. Previously I would have answered "fight for it" straight away without thinking but deep down inside, I knew clearly that my aunt gave up because the treatment was too unbearable for her. I have a second thought now.

All I can say for now is, life is fragile. Sometimes, knowing that conciously doesn't seem to help me to help myself to live my life to the fullest because I do not know what "fullest" defines. How do you define "fullest"? Partying all night long till dawn or drinking until your liver tells you to stop? I don't know. The only thing I know right now is, death is not scary. Death is absolutely not the worst nightmare. The scariest thing is not seeing your loved ones ever again and not being able to share the happiness. And that's the darkest of all.

p/s: Is it true that people say those who died in a peaceful way are those whom God loves more? How about those who died in a tragic way? Is that a form of punishment from God?

TWO days only

Heyya! The craze is over. I surprised myself by finishing the book yesterday night. It only took me 2 days this time. I remember telling Stella moi I need 3-5 days for the book like how I did with those previous ones. I guess I broke my own record due to my eagerness to know the ending. Heehee...

The ending is like what I wanted. Plus I didn't cry while reading the book this time as it wasn't as dark and evil like Half Blood Prince. I've found most of the answers to my unanswered questions in the 6th book in this final one. And I'm not sakit hati on Dumbledore's death anymore. And Severus!!! hehehe... I'll try not to spoil it for those who haven't read the story yet. If you're lazy and insist to know, leave me a comment then. Oh, what more can I say? All's well, ends well :p

Regarding my Phuket trip, it was awesome. I'll write about it some other time. For now, I just wanna share my yummylicious chocolate pictures.

I first fell in love with TimTam when I was 12. Mel gave me my first TimTam pack she bought from Australia. Not only it was love at first sight, but immediately, I became a fan of dark chocolates until today :) I'm glad I found this again at Phuket's Carrefour.





Then, I took a glance at the next TimTam and my oh my, I was on cloud9 already.

After that, I was too busy selecting my Frito Lay chips cos there were too many flavours available! Bacon & Cheese-la, Korean Seafood-la, Mexican BBQ-la, Spicy Seafood-la, Curry Crab-la and a lot more on the weird flavours. The sad thing is, I was too busy with the chips till I had forgotten to grab my peanut butter Wunderbar by Cadbury. :'(

Nevertheless, I compensated it with Reese's Nutrageous that I found at the 7-11. 250-baht only can? Like RM 2.50. Should have grabbed more cos I remember buying it more expensive at the airport during my transit last time in Bangkok.

DND

Look!





Look carefully!





What do you see?





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Correcto!
The book I've been waiting.
Not borrowed, not stolen, not bought with my own money but IT'S MINE!
I just don't see the day when my bro will send the book to my doorstep after he has finished reading it.
I'm a happy girl right now. Am at Chapter8 already so DND! :p


p/s: Thank you so so so much ;)

Sawadeeka from Phuket

Ready to hit the beach! Will be back soon! *winks*

Kadar Stress Menurun SEDIKIT

At last, today's meeting was rather a fruitful one. My research model is finally heading somewhere. A specific direction, I mean. She pointed out to me very clearly this time compared to the previous meeting. For now, I'll refine my model and start to create the questionnaire before sending it for a pilot testing.

Last week, I was rather in a foul mood because my research model was rejected. I tried my best and put in effort to construct the model together with the questionnaire but in the end, everything was wrong. Do you know it is not easy to search for the right papers for literature review? I need papers that support certain relationships in my hypotheses to avoid being questioned later on. In short, no loop holes for the external marker to fail me.

The kadar stress meningkat secara mendadak after I repeatedly heard words like "No" and "This is not right". A very high level of stress similar to the OCPN's stress but with different feeling. I was so sad that I had to immediately borrow 6 freaking books from the library to tell myself to make things right this time.

When I'm stressed out like this, I don't feel like talking. It is the time when I just want to be alone. It is the time when I feel like closing my eyes while lying on the bed just to keep myself calm. It is also the time that I pity him because he might think he upsets me just because I'm too quiet. The reason why I don't see any mistake in my research model is because I'm no expert in this field. Now, who said survey-based research is easy??? I can tell you IT'S NOT when you absolutely have no idea what the whole thing is about.

"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?" - Albert Einstein

p/s: At least, I can now leave with a little bit of peace in me. I have a plane to catch later ;p