Satisfaction

When Div gave me the green light, my heart jumped for joy!

I thought I would never had the chance to be there. Starting from scratches, digging every resources available, and going through sickening moments. And boy, my heart really ached when i received those harsh rejections. After all the hard work and effort I had put in for more than a month, I seriously thought that i could never witness that maybe-or-maybe-not-so-magical outcome (a.k.a "my product") Before that, I didn't ask Div whether I could be there or not because by logical thinking, I was no longer part of it. And who wants me to be there since I'm out of the view already, rite?

Forgive me for being poor in expressing myself but I seriously have no idea how am i going to put all these into words. It might seem nothing to certain people. It might be something to some people. But it certainly means a lot to me. I know it is not something grand and i somehow perform not so well in it but hey, this is something absolutely so new to me which i haven't encountered in my entire life yet. And guess what? I somehow tried my very best and i did it! Mummy Sat told me every newcomer had to do this in order to learn through the hard way. It was sort of a test. If you could deal with the hardest, your days ahead would be easier. Nevertheless, I would also like to apologise to those 3 unlucky persons who were assigned to work along with me. I really appreciated that none of them were giving me a rough time and i really wanted to thank them from the bottom of my heart for not scratching my face despite of me giving them "shitty product". Hehe...

I'm not a greedy person. I'm not looking forward for the second one. I was more inclined to the first simply because it was the FIRST and money matter was put aside. Dollar signs were totally out of the view during negotiations. And for me to be there yesterday was more of a personal commitment. To meet those 2 fellas I've always wanted to meet - Mr. AW & Mr. TCH. I mean, who am i for them to remember me? I'm nobody in the first place compared to any of them in terms of age, position, knowledge and experience. Nothing beats meeting humble people. It felt so great and it was the right thing to wrap things up. To tell you the truth, it was something for me to remember for the rest of my life. Somehow i felt that it had made a tiny difference and helped me to see the other side of human. The way i felt wasn't something that you could get it instantly by paying cash and i'm sure not many could actually fully understand that unless you've gone through the same route i've taken.

Thanks to Mr C.K for bringing me there. It wasn't any big dream but it certainly meant a lot to me and you've helped in a way to fulfil it. I certainly didn't have the guts to turn up alone.

Just when i'm trying to be serious...

... the ghosts appear.

I've been given my softcopy research materials with the size of 265MB which consists of 85 folders and 495 files. Tell me i'm ulu because all those are Ghostscript files and can be viewed by a software called GSview by Ghostgum and i seriously never heard of those 2 ghosts before. Whatever ghosts they are, they definitely fall under the one-hell-freaking-shit category.

*yawns*
*double yawns*
*triple yawns*

Click those pics for larger images. Everything is in this so called blur vision. You tell me how to read, heh??? Wearing my spectacles also doesn't help much. Use magnifying glass ar? This is so uncool. Ish... So bloody de-motivating. How to lift my spirit up, I wonder...

The conversation unfolds

When everyone was having a fun time relaxing, out of a sudden, Rojak1 came over and potong stim by telling us how he is going to execute his Project A.

Rojak1: Alright, alright. What are you going to sponsor me?
Me: Huh? Sponsor your head. I got Project B to execute. Who is going to sponsor me then?
Rojak1: Hmm...okay. Chin-chai lah, one ceiling fan from you.
Me: What? I'm unemployed, you know.
Rojak1: Can larr, can larr...
Me: =.=" Do i look like i own a money copier?
Rojak1: *ignores me and changes his target* You and Rojak2, sponsor sebiji air-cond each. Deal?
Rojak3: *giggles* Sebiji air-cond your head. Sebiji.... sebiji... nah, sebiji testis you want onnot? Ambik! *with his two hands indicating a round shape putting at where his right testis located*
Me & SIL: MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

As any other ordinary girl, sometimes there are things that I should not be knowing. Somehow rather with me being exposed to 2 nutcases and 1 super pervert for my entire life, I think i know too much.

Take my advice: Rojak3 is no one ordinary for you to mess with. You think he is stupid? He's smarter than you! And him being only a kucing kurap houseman challenged his MO, "Mana dalam buku peraturan tulis tak boleh warnakan rambut dan buat tattoo?" *salutes* And you know what's the greatest thing about him? Although his mouth says NO, we know that the answer in his heart is already a YES. There it goes, the ego of the male species.

*****

Today is a really weird day. 5 years ago, there was an unsolved puzzle lying in front of me. Back then, there wasn't a perfect solution. Somehow, today the puzzle re-appears out of nowhere. However, this time, I manage to solve it together with a friend who is currently in Tokyo. We both are satisfied with the outcome. :)

On the other hand, things do not turn out good for Ms. Northumbria. She's gonna get herself drunk tonite. How i wish i can be there for her, lending her my pair of ears and giving her a bear hug. Miss you, lady.

Triple mess

Sigh~ I just feel like writing this up because i find it too much of coincidental.

1) Miss "KAN 5333" is in a big mess.
2) Miss "Northumbria" is in a big mess.
3) Miss "Cursing Mei-Kuei" is in a big mess.

Tiga sekawan series, heh? How come the same thing happened to 3 good friends at the same time? FreaKy indeed.

The Specky Story

Wow wee!!! Finally got my new pair of spectacles yesterday. What's so special then? *coughs*
You see, i've been wearing spectacles since year 2000. Y2K, that's it. And this year is already the 7th year and guess what? I've exactly 7 pairs of spectacles already and that number exclude my sunglasses. Hmm, i hope i do not sound like a specky freak or probably a 1st class NERRRD. Well, you can't really say that on average I have a new pair of specky each year because the fact is I change my spectacles every 1st quarter of the year! As anybody who is not blind can see that i do not wear my spectacles that often unless i have to. Err, sucks rite?

On why:
i) Wearing specs too long makes the bridge of my nose and the back of my ears very painful

ii) Living in a blur vision and not too see things that "clearly" can be good at times. So, the next time when you see me on street without spectacles, do shout for me, ok? I'm not a snob who pretends that I don't know you. Just that i really CAN'T see!

Why don't i just get a pair of contact lens?
Hmm... good Q, good Q. The reason is because i do not want to wake up every morning feeling so sleepy already but still have to force my eyes open to stuck those silly transparent films into my eyes. Same applies when go to bed. Torture, heh?

Anyway, my very first pair was a frameless spectacles. Then i had like 2 pairs in blue colour frame and another one in purple colour. Somehow, 2 years ago i got a new pair in black colour frame from Focus Point. (btw, don't get any from "Semua England" cos memang bLurghhh...) Since then, i never lay my eyes on any other colour except black.

.: Miss 2004 :.

.: Miss 2005 :.

Yikes! I have no idea where have i chucked my other 4 pairs. Nevermind that. So, i went to the same shop where i had my spectacles done last year. This optometrist is a very nice chap. Most of the time, he will give me a very good price because my bro is his so called loyal customer.

Mr. Optometrist: So, where are you working?

Me: *routine Qs* I no longer work. I'm studying right now. So you better gimme a good price.

Mr. Optometrist: Sure, sure. What are you studying then?

Me: IT

Mr. Optometrist: A lot of people doing that. I got many friends doing that as well.

Me: *still looking at those frames* Hmm.. Ok, yea i know.

Mr. Optometrist: Take the lighter colour one. It looks nice.

Me: But i want a black one.

Mr. Optometrist: No lar, black is not nice. That one lighter one is nice.

Me: I don't want. I want a black one. After so many, I still think black is the best.

Mr. Optometrist: Trust me. Lighter one is nice. With the black one, you look like a student.

Me: *ccp* I'm now exactly a student wattttt.....=.="

.: Tadaa!!! Miss 2006 :.

.: I have to look SO cikgu to set a good example :.

.: Partners in crime. Looks like couple specs, hor? Too bad they are not :.

.: One lump of shit (Molten Chocolate Cake) which costs a bomb! :.

.: Yes, we are so having an affair wei. Bite me! :.

.: Alrite, this boloh here not tired playing with my hp yet. But my tummy wanna burst from the meal! :.

p/s: Molten Chocolate Cake costs RM19.35. Worth a try if you're a choc lover cos it has choc fudge oozing out when you reach the middle. But not as heavenly as choc fondue. Hur-hur

When the ex-SNC girl goes mad...

... she talks rubbish.

That was the reason i didn't want to blog in the first place! When personal matters came into view, they just ate me up. Guess i'll have to stick to my initial plan, which is to blog only about common stuffs. No more anything personal, private and confidential. If the same thing happens again in the future, i'll have to say "Mr. POCJ, the CEO of zokita.com, thank you very much for everything but i guess it's the time for you to pull the plug. Thank you once again." For the mean time, i'll just have to write this one last post before i "revamp" myself.

*****

When label exists, there will be commitment.
When commitment steps in, comes expectation.
In short, label links to commitment which eventually teams up with expectation.

Eweee, that is just so NOT me! Why must there be an expectation? People like me who come from the Zaman Batu do not need all this unnecessary pressure. Plus, is announcement really that necessary/important/urgent?

And don't tell me who i belong to because i belong to NOBODY. The only 2 persons I owe them in my entire life which i can't possibly repay them in any kind of ways are ONLY both my parents. They are the one owning me. Get it?

label + commitment + expectation = tension + pressure + depression = too hot for me to handle

me = hate perfection *i'm not perfect then must i hate myself? if yes, then what? choose to commit suicide? that's like so yesterday's case, ok? be more creative. DuH*

me = hate fairytales *un, dos, tres... heLLo? i'm turning 3+20=23 this year. fairytales? do you mean living happily ever after? blind me. i'd rather live in "Mind Your Language" sitcom*

me = hate "must-do-step-by-step-procedure" occasions *this is like so siao, ok? one word: ciak-sai*

conclusion = forget about getting close to Zaman Batu people because they are one-kind of stubborn hell people with worthless pathetic piece of mind shit which would be constantly mindf*cked by robotic-perfecto people.

So, are you from Zaman Batu dimension or Robotic-Perfecto era? Don't tell me in between because Meredith Brooks once said "I'm nothing in between".

BabyJamie @ Babi-J, i don't think anybody can decode this lump of shit here la wei. Too many layers of fat covering the gem. Don't think you can successfully crack it with Da Vinci Code as well ;p Bet you can only do it with "wavelength". You know what i mean ;D

p/s: Sorry, i live in the world of nuns. Bite me!





Alright. Me, signing off. Ta!

Should I?

I can't stand the way i'm being "stalked" mentally and emotionally. It's like forcing me to jump from a cliff. Some people just do not understand the "rules". The question now boils down to should i or should i not shut down this blog of mine?

Ray of light

Was in the darkness until this ray of light was accidentally found ;D Sometimes, the simplest thing is the best and we, human simply choose to ignore that. Don't seem to understand what i'm saying? Then don't try to be one.

.: If you look clearly, happiness is everywhere. You just gotta dig it out :.

Jalan hidup atau Jalan mati?

A little girl was walking alone in the woods to get some peaceful and quiet moments for herself. She was trying to search for that particular something. Without realising, she walked deeper into the woods without a compass in her hand or any directions in her mind. Soon enough, she found herself lost. She didn't really bother because it wasn't the first time she got herself into trouble and each time she had found her way out by following the flow of a river. Unfortunately, things were rather strange this time. There wasn't a stream or river to be found.

Instead she found 2 paths laying in front of her eyes which lead to 2 different caves. The left path was a fancy one with pretty flowers growing on both side of the path. The scent of those flowers was captivating. The girl could see the left path was brightly lit with torches leading to the cave. It looked rather promising.

On the right, it was a dark and gloomy path. The right path was full of dead trees and leaves lying around. There wasn't a confirmation of a safe cave ahead. But the little girl was fond of the darkness where no one would notice her appearance. She was afraid to choose the path unless there was an assurance from the right.

Given a situation like this, any person with a normal state of mind would have chosen the path that looked better. You would even encourage the girl to choose the promising one. But have you ever asked for the little girl's opinion before deciding for her? Very few actually noticed that the little girl loved something dark and mysterious. Looks could be deceiving. What if the left path leads her to nowhere? And the right, could be something really good or maybe bad.

So, would the left path be sucking her in or would the right path be welcoming her arrival? Or retreating might be the best way for her?

*****

On the other hand:

"I reckon"
"Sue me"

Yea right. I'm sick of your "over-using phrases". You admit your fault and still i'm not taking a step back to give you that slap. And stop saying things that should not be mentioned in the "public" because some people do know what those freaking CODES mean ;p I'm so gonna sue you, Babi-J. So, sue me! Heh! *hugs*

"Everybody loves perfection. To me, perfection spoils. That's because I do not live in a fairytale. Life is about risk, ain't it?"

Hiatus

A room. Four walls with one side being a see through glass. No door. Too much unwanted attention. Not being able to reach out for that something. I need to zap myself to the other side for a break. A big break. To the other side that no one else sees me. Only people with luck will stumble upon the other side. I'll come back when i feel like to. No comments for this post.

Can somebody please wake him up for me?

The other day on the phone

Me: Wei, are you coming back this weekend arr? I need you to do a medical check-up for me.
Rojak 3: Har? Dunno yet laaa... I gotta work.
Me: I don't care. You must come back also. The due date is next week. I need it urgently. Remember you asked me to help you the other day, i also did it arr.. Must come back har.
Rojak 3: Okay, okay. See how first la harrr...

Yesterday on the phone

Me: Wei, how come you never came back? Tomorrow i go to find you, okay? You are working tomorrow, rite?
Rojak 3: Har? Hmm..hmmm..hmm
Me: Sure har. You got on-call or not? You'll be in the hospital whole day, rite? Remember to bring your stamp along har. Tomorrow i go to find you.
Rojak 3: Har? Mmm... hmm..
Me: Remember to bring your stamp!
Rojak 3: Mmmm...
Me: Bye!

Just now on the phone

Rojak 3: Hey, you called me yesterday ar?
Me: *boloh punya budak* Har? Ya lar.. You forget ar?
Rojak 3: Hehehe..Why ar?
Me: *aiyoyoyoyo* I'm going to find you later to do a medical check-up. Why? You were drunk yesterday, is it?
Rojak 3: No lerr.. Tired from working. Very sleepy already. You know how to come meh???
Me: *babi* Yes laaaarrrrr. Rojak 1 told me how to go adi.
Rojak 3: Medical report. Hmm... you need to do X-Ray or not?
Me: X wat Ray? No need laa.. You just tick tick tick and stamp for me la!
Rojak 3: Ha? No need ar? No need X-Ray? Medical report no need meh?
Me: YES!!! NO NEED! I didn't say report also. I only said check-up. I got all the forms with me. You just have to tick, stamp and sign!
Rojak 3: Hmm..okay, okay. What time are you coming har?
Me: See first la. Why? What time do you want me to go?
Rojak 3: Anytime you like la. I'll be here the whole day.
Me: Then why you ask?
Rojak 3: Okay, okay.
Me: Okay, i'll go later. Bye!

p/s: Sometimes i feel like strangling him but he can be so "soh lou", rite? I love each of them dearly.

What goes around comes around. Is that true?

But Alanis said what goes around never comes around.

Why people can lie just for the sake of their own good and pleasure?
Why people can betray someone who trusted them entirely?
Why people who have done so many bad things always got their way?
God already had something planned out for people like these, hadn't Him?

A good person like "him" shouldn't be treated in a way like that. "He" deserved someone much more better than "her". How could "she" come out with all the stories and lies so that she could be happy and some other people would be suffering because of "her"? "He" didn't do anything wrong to deserve all the punishments and betrayals, at least nothing wrong as a friend but only being one great buddy. I felt bad for "him" yet i couldn't do anything to help "him".

I despise "her" because I'm so ashame of "her" right now. I strongly believed that she will be lonely for the rest of her life even she has some short-lived happiness coming across "her" life once in a while. Karma. That's what she's going to get.

Remember that your life will never be on top of the wheel all the time. You'll never get the chance to be the decider everytime you play a game and deciding what people should be getting. You'll have to be one of the players once in a while to feel what the game is like and have people to decide for you what you should be getting. That's my say.