The most hilarious thing in my life

What is the most hilarious thing in my life? I get this most of the time and it has become one of my all-time favourite jokes.

"Eh, that one helped you take photo is your bf?"
"Is the one with the specs your bf?"
"Your bf arr?"
"Didn't go out with bf?"
"This morning I saw you and your bf having dim sum."

Wtf??? Muahahaha... I didn't walk hand-in-hand with my brothers also. Why would people assume one of them is my bf? Why? Tell me why? It tickles me a lot when people say that my brother is my bf.

Khalwat hang tau ke dak? Muka kiter orang nie sama cam adik-beradik hang kata dia nie pak we aku? Muntah darah pak aku hang tau ke dak kalo dia dengak tuu. Nasib baik lahh orang kat kampung aku tuu tau aku nie berpunya 3 orang abang. Tapi kat Kandang Lembu (KL) nie, lembu-lembu sekalian suka sangat sampai terjatuh cinta kat babi. Sebab dia orang nie selalu membabi buta aje buat kesimpulan yang abang kandung aku tuu pak we aku. Berpeluh aduhai~

Okay, i am a lesbian. So what? Let me know if it is a crime. Muahahaha...

Anyway, another funniest moment was added to my collection yesterday night. I wanted to sleep already after reading Five People You Meet in Heaven. I remembered it was almost 11pm. J called me right before i got my hp switched off. After the conversation, i proceeded to off the light and slumber without switching off my hp. A.BIG.MISTAKE. (I used to get extremely annoyed when people disturbed me while I was watching TVB drama until i was "transferred" to the Dunia Tanpa TV, sleeping had since became my priority. Seriously, it is very rare for me to forget switching off my hp but each time if i do forget, there must be an idiotic who will call me in the middle of my "sacred hour". Extremely sueh.) While I was wandering very very VERY deep inside the Wonderland woods, SUDDENLY shitto, I heard a "siren" indicating me to turn back. Why at this hour? farker.whichfarker?goddamnit. I've assigned different groups of people with different ringtone but i juz couldn't figure out which ringtone it was in a quarter-concious state. I couldn't even bring myself to open up my eyes to see the Caller ID. I've tried so hard to get my hp flipped open and with a lifeless voice, i uttered "elo?" Guess what was the immediate response from the caller?

"HeLLo, Theng arr?? Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you.. HaP.." Grr~~~ M*h*i KKW
I chopped off this idiot with an irritated voice "huh? oi! oi! stop! it's not my b'day!"
"Harr? Really arr? Aiyo.. Sorry sorry sorry"
I heard people beside idiot laughing out loudly by then.

Peeped at my hp's analog clock.
12am said it all.
I tot it was either 3am or 4am cos i felt that i had been sleeping for long.
If it was 3 or 4, I am so goin to de-bone this idiot today.

Anyway, had a good laugh juz now when idiot related this incident to others. Others were poking fun at him. Heehehee... He memang TAK TAU MALU!!!

Tujuh

Aduhai, kena tagged by the Se7en deadly sins.. muahaha

7 things I plan to do before I die
1) To stay in an expensive Bali suite (beach & spa...mmm...i'm lovin' it)
2) To locate my kiddie friends, Miss Cheah Li Lian, Miss Tan Ruo Shi and Miss Esther Low Su Yen (i am not sure whether they still remember me)
3) To own a place of my own which i can call HOME (fully furnished with Ikea furniture perhaps?)
4) To let my boss know that I have a blog and I addressed him as Moron in it. Tee Hee... (provided I have a bad boss before i die)
5) To be a bridesmaid for ONCE (i don't have a sister.. sheessh!)
6) To get everyone to forgive me for anything that I have done wrong in my entire life
7) To re-visit places that have left me with fond memories

7 things I could do
1) Smoking (cigars, pots or whatever shits that can make me high ;D)
2) Taking drugs (cough syrup is delicious, baby!)
3) Committing suicide (i can see scars on my wrists. yikes!)
4) Drinking (throw me a glass of that bloody mary, pls)
5) Clubbing (shake your bon-bon + bootylicious)
6) Stealing/Committing a crime (is Sg. Buloh a nice place?)
7) Slapping someone's face (yea, you stooopid b*atch/a*sh*le)

I could do all the above mentioned but I am not going to do it, duh!!! Yea yea, I am such a Plain Jane but I know how to love myself, nehhh.. Jealous arr?

7 celebrity crushes
1) Charlize Theron
2) Mischa Barton
3) Naomi Watts
4) Keira Knightly
5) Michele Reis
6) Elyse Sewell
7) Naima Mora

Oh, did i mention that i'm a lesbian? I dig cool chicks.

7 Often Repeated Words
1) Hah?
2) Huh?
3) Mehyia?
4) Uh..okok
5) Ah-ha
6) Loser
7) Whhattt???

7 physical traits I look in the opposite sex
Puh-leeezzz, I've confessed that i'm a lesbian. I don't dig the opposite sex

7 victims I can tag
1) Please
2) Leave
3) The
4) Others
5) Alone
6) Okay
7) ???

- The End -

1st explosion? Nahhh...not even close

Yay!!! Finally i got angry with someone yesterday after testing my patience for quite some time. Well, probably i shouldn't use the word "angry" because i wasn't really angry. Just that i got upset. So upset that i wanted to twist the bloody neck and smashed the pecan caramel plus the chocolate expresso shit. But got a half surprise later on. Never do that again, please. You probably wouldn't want to see me angry or i should say "the real anger". I need to confess that i'm not good in my anger management. Want the talkative, sweet & bubbly me? Heed my advice: Do not force me to go beyond my maximum limit. Try it and you will see an ice queen emerges. You are so going to regret if you can never hear a single word from me again.

*Sob Sob* (Part 2)

-This post is delayed due to some reasons-

*Sob Sob* ="(

My aunt came to visit yesterday. Mum asked her to bring me some biscuits she baked at home. There was even a red packet for me since my day would be closer. This year would be a year that i would not be at home. :( What I never expected was there was a lil' surprise for me. A birthday card! FROMMM....... my pa and ma! :D I had never received one from my parents in my entire life. Only red packet every year. But of cos my siblings and i had given cards to them before. I was so touched. My hearted melted. I almost cried like a baby but i managed to hold back my tears. I didn't know when was the last time my pa did this to any of my bros but I remembered my pa bought a birthday card for my eldest bro years ago when he was studying in UK.(cos i was accompanying him that time)

Oh, i used to follow my pa around the town a lot when i was younger. I miss those times clinging by his side. Seriously, I'm not afraid of anything even if the sky is to collapse down on me as long as my pa is right here by my side. I feel so secure whenever he is around. He's the man i trusted the most in my whole life. My bros can't even be in the horizontal line with my pa. There's no one who will fully understand my pa. No one is goin to know what my pa has gone through all these years. No one will know the sacrifice he has made. Only the one in the family circle trust - ma, bros and me can see, know and understand all these. I can tell you frankly, no one can ever take his place especially in my heart. No one, really. Ok, i'm goin to do it eventhough my face is damn thin. Pa, i love you a lot :)

p/s: My pa has the neatest handwriting on earth! You gotta believe me!

.: This card is so sweet but my pa is sweeter. Hehe :.

.: To Miss Chong Sook Theng??? Damn! Sounds too formal to me. My pa is funny and cute. Haha! :.

Case closed

When i say that i am innocent, i really mean that i am innocent!

If i'm not mistaken, i think i did indirectly claim that i was innocent in my previous post. I had been keeping my mouth shut against Froggie for less than 2 days. I did that simply because i didn't want to deepen the hatred i had towards Froggie. For people who knew me well enough, they knew that they should leave me alone when they pissed me off. I needed a room & a space for myself to breathe and calm down. Not because i was acting childish and waited for people to come, beg and apologise. (Don't apologise to me if you think you have done nothing wrong eventhough in my opinion you are at fault! I cherish sincerity a lot.) After i've pulled through the "cold moment" i shall be back to my normal state. Please bear that in mind. That's the normal me, not the abnormal me.

Maybe Froggie is still new to me or perhaps the other way round. Froggie sensed that something was wrong. Froggie actually called me yesterday night and apologised!!! And the worst part was Froggie didn't know what had gone wrong. I didn't blame Froggie for that because a simple & sincere apology already meant a lot to me :) I kept on telling Froggie to forget about it already because what have happened already happened and what have been said already been said. There was nothing to do to undo the whole incident. You see, no matter how bad someone treated me, a sincere apology is more than enough for me to forgive him/her. This is my weak part. My heart is as soft as the cotton ball. Case closed.

*****

KL drivers are getting more and more ridiculous as the day goes by. I was on the left lane this morning because i was taking my own sweet time to reach my workplace. From far, I could see part of the right lane in front was closed with cones blocking. When i almost reached the cones, (pls remember that i was on the left and cones on my right and other vehicles were slowing down including mine) this stooopid Waja on the right actually honked me. Why? Because i didn't let him cut into my lane. wTf? Tell me i did something wrong but i didn't. Driving on my own lane was a mistake, i didn't think so. Cutting into ppl's lane whenever you feel like to? Bullshit. My quick response? I braked and I turned my head to the driver, frowned & "tsk" at him. I didn't know why i did that. It was a reaction of getting annoyed i guessed. The only thing i knew was if he got my new baby scratched, i would not hesitate to scratch his face. I think i am horrible. :/

When the evil strikes

Normally I can only be angry or sad but not both. Miracle happened yesterday. Somebody triggered off both feelings on me. My heart was shattered and i didn't feel like talking to anyone in the office except for a person. Those kataks a.k.a froggies were really driving me crazy. I was almost in tears. Not because of his baseless accuse but rather than someone who's in my circle trust was not seeing what i saw. The feeling of being betrayed is not good.

Working can be really bad at times. It can change you from an ordinary person to someone with an abnormal state of mind. Peer pressure and other political issues. I frankly do not know how long i can hold on to the bar. I was happy when i was having my industrial training but why not now? Perhaps working in a big company is not really a good idea after all. At times, i walk and jog around the park to keep myself sane.(well, the pool is far beyond my reach) Taking deep breath helps me calm myself. The trees, the birds and the joggers help to put a smile on my face. I need to think straight.

I'm not sure who i can pour my hearts out to. The fear of being betrayed creeps upon me. Besides, i'm bad in explanation. Nevertheless, of all the uncertain things, there's one thing i'm sure about. I'm sure that no matter how ugly the world turns into, there is still one person standing right by my side defending me. The one having the same frequency and sharing the same satellite with me. :)

J (G-NiLRad), i do not know how to thank you. All i know is that you are always there ready with your pair of listening ears whenever i start to complain about the smelly shits i encounter. You know instantly when there's something wrong with me. That's the most amazing thing about you which impressed me a lot. Remember that we will always stick together through the thick and thin. ;)

p/s: When i'm angry, i'm Ms. Nice Girl no more. Hmph!

Jie Jie?

A quickie...
Met AH today after work cos Pat left her alone at home. I told her to wait me at TS's Starbucks, the one at the main entrance. Damn the policeman for not letting me crossed the road directly. Must use the pedestrian bridge. AH must be waiting for me like a mad cow cos i was already late. I walked as fast as my legs could carry me. I passed by Bread History. All of a sudden, i heard...

"Theng Jie Jie...!!!" Screeeeccchh..... (performed emergency brake laaah tuu..) I halted. Fulamak... who could that be? I had no one calling me that for more than 3 times in a year. Jie Jie? I'm the youngest everywhere! Among friends and even at workplace. How could i be a Jie Jie?? My eyes rolled left and right. Turned my head around with a blur vision ahead. Hearing problem? Hmm... Probably. But that voice sounded familiar. Then, I spotted a young girl looking at my direction. Huh? I didn't remember having such a girl with that age as my friend. I tried very hard to focus on that girl. Then my mouth went "Omigosh!". It was SYen, my lil' cousin! A cousin that i've not seen for quite a while. Sometimes, i could forget that i have younger relatives. I didn't meet them as often/frequent as I used to be already. Other than this cousin and her lil' brothers, everyone addresses me by my name. Seriously, i'm not used to ppl calling me JieJie and sometimes i feel uneasy simply because i dun have any younger siblings calling me that for the past 21 years. Anyway, i couldn't remember when was the last time i've met my cousin. Perhaps some time earlier this year? Not really that long, heh? ;p She wanted to kill me when i asked her about her age. Okay, she's in form 4 this year and i need to remember that!

Pagar aku kena panjat

I'm getting tired. I'm tired of people who are shallow. I'm tired of people who have not seen other people's culture. I'm tired of people who do not know the meaning behind the word "Respect". In short, i'm getting impatient with people who are bagaikan katak di bawah tempurung. Basically, they only live under the coconut shell and have never been exposed to any tiny bit of light. I can't bite my lips anymore but those who fall under the category mentioned above are those who spoke only Mandarin, nothing but Mandarin since young, watched only typical Mandarin dramas with 99% crying scenes and laughed at some lines in an English movie when other people are laughing.

I was in an uneasy position juz a couple of minutes ago. My boundary had been crossed. Oh, wait a minute. Just for the record, i'm a person who emphasized on my privacy. Yea, my privacy means A LOT to me. Seriously, I can't take any trespasser or intruder in my life unless i allow them to "enter with permission". You don't simply climb on ppl's wall when they do not open the gate for you. Well, back to the case where my pagar kena panjat. I quickly snapped at this person without thinking twice insisting that he had crossed my boundary and he should have learned what "privacy" and "respect" actually meant. Instead of getting an apology, i got a "haiyar, you got too much privacy" and a wicked smile. Come on, can someone please teach me how am i to wake these kind of people up so that they won't see/treat other people with their own assuming kind of way but to look from other ppl's perspective in the first place? Well, i didn't bother to scold him after all but all my heart could think of was "SHALLOW" and "IMMATURE". No, these ppl are not uneducated. Only their mindset is static. You may think that i am such a drama queen making a fuss over some trivial matters. But my point is, don't think that things which do no harm are not going to hurt ppl.

Now, for those who have watched Chinese and English movies/dramas all these years, did you learn something from those shows? Or pakai tengokkk aje?? Did you realise that normally when a parent and a child quarrelled in a Chinese drama, both were actually shouting on top of their lungs? On the other hand, for the Caucasians, the child actually tells their parent to stop shouting. Could you see the difference? Why would some people label the child who asked the parent to stop shouting as "rude" or "biadap"? Why didn't the Caucasians feel the same way? Simply because they realise the kid may be right at times and they RESPECT it. So, why couldn't we accept things that are positive?

Ok, i'm an open-minded person but not an extreme one. I am conservative in my own ways too. Only that I can think and judge rationally. I do not reject things that i see in a positive way. See from other people's perspective and you will see more. Do ponder.

Pa melts my heart away

Aww... pa juz called and said something sweet which melted my heart. He would only say all these once in a blue moon. Once a decade perhaps? Was it the second time i've heard? Anyway, I'm touched. *sob sob*
You know I love you. It's all in the heart :)

Laughing stock

Yay!!! I'm the laughing stock of the day. How nice could that be? I'm so pathetic. Thank God it is a nice pair of purple Fila. I feel like strangling my brother. Btw, this morning he didn't answer "Yes" or "No" when i asked him whether he took out all my shoes from my car. His "I think so" answer drove me nuts. What do you mean by "I think so"??? Brother and sister, both the same. Blur 24/7. But i can tell you the other 2 are bijak. What's wrong with these 2??!!!

Another 2 minutes to go before i'm entirely "face/off".

Fool defines me

No, i'm not going to complain about the traffic today although something did happen on my way to work. For the meantime, I have greater thing to complain.

I.
HAVE.
A.
PAIR.
OF.
SLIPPERS.
ON.
MY.
FEET.
RIGHT.
NOW.
INSTEAD.
OF.
A.
PAIR.
OF.
HEELS.

I really wanna kill myself. Why am i so ignorant? Why am i not alert? I should have checked for my shoes and heels. Great! Now i don't even have my Sketchers for Elliot's class tonight. Thanks to my KIND brother for helping me to get rid of every single pair of shoes from my car without my knowledge. I'm now "STUCK".

G.DeGRAW

WWW!!! Is the CD nice??? It should be, right? You should thank who then? ;p "Follow Through" is another favourite other than the 2 famous ones; Chariot & I Don't Wanna Be. Cool huh, the Stripped CD. Pinjam you Daniel Powter soon too, ok. Remember to ask me for the list cos i keep on forgetting. ;p

What a yummy day

Remember Missy M the lady who had asked for my bag?? She had left for a new job... Awww...

Anyway, everyone chipped in a BIG portion of money to buy her 2 sets of "something" which left all of us complaining. Today, 1st of September, well, another wonderful day. (cos it's September already *wink wink*) Got little treats from Missy M this morning; butter cookies and cheese brownies. Yummy i should say ;D Very fulfilling 2nd breakfast. ;p Followed by another piece of blueberry sponge cake from Miss J's birthday after lunch. I had a disgusting lunch, by the way. Tasteless. Not only i didn't complain but finished the damn thing cos i was bloody hungry. I guessed I've eaten too much for the day. NO, I DIDN'T. I was accidentally forced into fasting (yes, i was fasting and not dieting!! somemore on Merdeka Day!!!) yesterday. URgh... I didn't want to recall the whole incident. All i could say was it left me feeling like a beggar eating whatever there was without complaining a shit. (the saying which goes "A beggar cannot be a chooser" is so bloody true!)
For now, i can still taste the sponge cake inside my mouth. BuRRRp...Whoopsie, i'm sorry. Wah, terima kasih that i can still eat and burp!!! For a second, i thought i've lost it all yesterday. Phew~

p/s: Dessert will always be my number ONE best friend ;D