Mask for you?

"My name is Alice and I remember everything."

I was joking with my colleagues. The whole KL city looked like a scene in Resident Evil 2 since Day 1 when the haze struck. The city looked dead and lifeless since then. At times, I found myself wandering alone (like the game, Silent Hill) cos the condition was so bad that I could hardly see anyone a few metres away. Like not enough, those smokers wanted the Hari Kiamat to arrive faster by puffing away with their cigarrettes. Thanks for penetrating the ozone layer.

Did the condition improve this morning? Not sure. But I've seen so many "ninjas" on the street since yesterday. People were crazily grabbing all the masks available in any pharmacies & personal stores, from Guardian to Watson's. Even some of my colleagues sacrificed their lunch time to hunt for those masks. There were some morons taking advantage of this situation to sell those cheap masks for an unreasonable price. Imagine my boss's secretary bought a mask that cost her more than RM20. She said that "special mask" was good because it had a FILTER. *pengsan tiga kali pengsan* I guessed all were probably sold out by now whether the expensive Darth Vader-look-alike masks or the paper-thin ones.

Anyway, a "kiasu, kiasee & kiaboh" person wanted a mask too. I was being generous and told KKK not to buy since I MIGHT get it from my bro but I wasn't 100% sure that i could get it. Being the typical KKK, not only he didn't believe me because he thought it was impossible to get it since everywhere was running out of masks, but pissed me off with his usual bloody "Chapter 2: How to be a successful KIASEE" attitude. Fark you, KKK. When i got home, 10 free masks were waiting to greet me. (Yeah, you are not getting any of it from me, LOSER! I wish you luck in hunting for a better mask so that you can live longer with your KKK life!)

By the way, I'm not wearing and not goin to wear one of those masks. First, it makes me harder to breathe (eh, maroon5? kekeke) and second, i think i look weird. Like a ninja or spy or some undercover agent. Third, i'm not kiaseeeeee!!!

The 3rd reason actually drove my mum up the wall this morning. When i was preparing myself to go to work, she was there asking me to wear a mask. I told her "No" and she kept nagging while i was combing my hair. All I heard was something which went "must wear must wear... cannot don't wear.. the condition is very bad.. yesterday your bro also felt dizzy and the haze had him in his teary eyes..wear your specs also.." I went on defending myself and said " No, he's weak, i'm not.. Besides, it's not a virus like SARS where ppl can die.." Mum quickly chopped me off and said "Do you know you have a sensitive nose????!!!! You know onnot, har??? Who said cannot die, haze can make ppl die oso.." To satisfy her and stop her from nagging i went "kekekeke" and "Okay, Okay.." But she continued with the grumbling and mumbling thing because she knew that her daughter never listened to her. (Hehehe...my bros & I only listen to the Mayor a.k.a my pa) The last thing i heard when i was at the door was " wear your specs arrr....". I couldn't help myself but to pull off a joke on my mum. I said to her "Ma, you oso got wear specs.. All women oso wear lehhh." (See, i'm too exposed.. I do not know where i learn all these rubbish but definitely not from my bros. Maybe some of you do not understand what i've said too. Forget it, then) Then, i laughed off. Guess she didn't get my joke and continued "remember to wear the mask and specs.." Off i went ignoring all her words..*Aiya!*

On my way to work, i saw a motorcyclist which was a woman probably in her 40s scolding a driver "N*a M* G*h H*i A*" *sweat baby, sweat*. I didn't hear those magic words but i read it from her lips. ;D I saw another motorcyclist behind the car laughing. Didn't know what happened but must be the usual case, driver almost knock down the motorcyclist. Then i thought about the other day when i said "die hard laa" and KW went on spontaneously with "die hard, h*il*t, sounds the same worrr." *double sweat, baby* My eyes rolled and we both laughed out so loud but the other girls didn't understand about it at all. (shit, i think i know too much about things that a normal girl shouldn't know)

Back to the haze. A fart is definitely fresher than the hazardous air right now. Given a situation where you are trapped on a desert without a drop of water, you are forced to drink your own urine in order to survive. I'm wondering will the kiasees smell other ppl's farts when the API level hits 600. Hee hee hee...Haaa haa haa... Long life, kiasees..Smell my fart, you jackass!